Trying to find the words

Deep down inside, I have always felt a compulsion, an inner drive, to write. It is a talent that I feel that I have, as undeveloped and unnurtured as it may be.

I cannot sensibly explain why I have feel this desire to words to paper - and yet have few significantly tangible and completed works of this supposed internal passion.

I wrote on the the high school newspaper some 15 years ago. I did well, I thought. Better than most. For some reason, I chose not to explore journalism as a college degree, as a fellow writer in my class eventually went on to become an established sports journalist for a major city newspaper.

No regrets, write? I mean, right? Of course not, but this energy to write is not dead.

For the very modest degree of early success I am able to claim, it is because of my bias to write in the personal essay format. I won a scholarship in college for a 750-word essay about why I chose my profession.

I also was later published in a technical professional journal early on my career. If letters to the editor count, I have a few of those writing credits also. Many of my high school newspaper contributions were editorial in nature.

Fiction, on the other hand, scares me to death. I have several unfinished "projects" ranging from 50 to 10,000+ words.

What do I hope to achieve with my writing? Long-term, I would like to have a book published. One that is meaningful to me and that is a work that touches those who read it. Sure, it would be nice if it were to sell a ton of copies, but that's not why I am in this game.

In the short term, I hope to just get something in print again. By Friday of this week, I hope to submit a short, short story to Writer's Digest in response to one of their many competitions.

I have found myself checking writing instructional books out at the library, reading others' work on the web and tormenting over how and why I want to try to write.

I have started this on-line journal to capture my thoughts, my pain, my ideas and my energy toward the craft of writing, with the ultimate aim of finding and understanding my writing self.